Opinion – Bottle Service

Me on Instagram: Made cupcakes w the kids, love them so much. Me for real: YOU’RE GETTING EGGSHELLS IN THE BATTER JESUS CHRIST LET ME DO IT
Vampire Valerie

**PSA: THIS IS BY NO MEANS ENCOURAGING COLLEGE STUDENTS TO GET PREGNANT. THIS IS JUST AN ATTEMPT AT OPTIMISM FOR THOSE THAT HAPPEN TO BE IN THIS SITUATION.

So you’re in college and you’re having a baby.

Bottle service, VIP booths, sweaty dancing, nights drinking Monster in the library–they’re all gone. It’s now evenings at home, watching TV really quietly, and enjoying your child-free hour before bed.

Having a kid while you’re of traditional college age, or in college at any age, isn’t ideal. You have other commitments and responsibilities, and the general consensus is that you should probably wait to reproduce until after graduation.

But if this isn’t your reality, and you’ve come to terms with your decision to have a kid, then congrats! Here are some perks to having a child while in college:

It May Benefit Your Career

Providing you graduate from college despite your bundle of joy, you can kick start your career with the whole “having a kid” thing out of the way.

Many college graduates land their dream job at age 26/27, and then quit or take significant time off said job only a few years later, when maternity and paternity leave takes precedence to their work.

If you’ve already taken your leave before you even start your career, then it definitely won’t get in the way. And, sure, you’ll have to leave early or avoid working late to accommodate your child’s schedule–but your boss will know this before they hire you and you won’t have to pause your career in the near future.

If You’re of Traditional College Age: You’ll Have More Energy and Be a Younger Empty Nester

If you’re having a baby at 21/22/23/24 years of age, then you’ll have more energy than you will in your 30s. This is by no means a reason to have a child this young, but it’s definitely a perk if you so happen to be in this situation.

Toddlers are exhausting. They run everywhere and they keep you up all night. So if dancing and cramming your days away is second nature already, then this may benefit you.

Likewise, if you have a baby at 22, then by 40, you will be an empty-nester. This means you will be young and active enough to enjoy life after your children leave home. You will have another lifetime to enjoy your grandchildren, and (maybe, hopefully) early retirement.

It May Motivate You

This is a highly subjective benefit, but a potential perk nonetheless.

For some college students, wondering aimlessly through their general ed with no purpose and no direction, having a kid may be motivating.

When you have a new human to pay for, paying for random college credits may no longer seems as enticing. You have to knuckle down, do well, and graduate as fast as possible. This may be the incentive you need.

A Few Perks and a LOT Of Challenges

Swapping out formula bottle service for champagne on ice (this is a thing now?) is not easy. You should take whatever precautions you can to avoid that.

But if you’ve made a decision, and you’re met with constant negativity, there is no shame in looking on the bright side. For what it’s worth, champagne on the rocks is not good. Not at all. So you’re not missing out on much.

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
Lane Olinghouse

If you’re looking to feel bad about yourself, as a parent or in general, then you may consider turning to social media.

Instagram feeds are riddled with parents posing with their adorable kids, in their clean houses, sharing meaningful moments you just can’t imagine ~~fabricating~~ experiencing yourself.

Your house may be messy, your kids may be overtired, your experiences (fart jokes, throwing food, wearing diapers on your head) may not be picture-worthy.

Parenting is a messy, tired affair. At some point, you’re almost guaranteed to find yourself at an impasse, wondering if pursuing your degree is really worth the added stress that being a parent already presents. You may sit there, in a blazer, now covered in vomit, wondering if your career is really worth the extra hassle.

Parenting is also a juggling act, and you’re likely to drop multiple balls at some point. Quitting your future plans for your kid can provide temporary relief, but it can also lead to resentment, and psychiatrists are of the opinion that this can be detrimental to your children.

According to Robert Firestone, p.h.D at Psychology Today, “Parents’ good intentions are not a substitute for nurturing love, which can only be provided by a psychologically healthy and independent adult.”

Leaving school, or your job, to care for your kid may seem like the best thing to do in the moment. It’s stressful; you’re tired. But your good intentions are not a substitute for loving your child, which, in Dr. Firestone’s opinion, requires you to be both healthy and independent.

So next time you look at social media, and feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that you’re not spending every waking hour with baby; next time you’re too tired to finish your coursework or email your boss– remember that being an independent and fulfilled adult is what helps you love them most. Finishing that degree, pursuing your dream career, will help you get there.

Loving your kids is your one job, so allow yourself the tools to do it well.

Category: Opinion

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